I joined in a party tonight. On the way back home, listening to my favorite songs on the train, I thought a lot about my life.
The party was mostly filled with ABC, mixed with a couple of born-in-china guys telling from their accents of English. A New Yorker came to me and asked me if I was mixed. Well, I guessed perhaps because of my coloring hair.I told him I am 100% Chinese born in China Mainland. He might just be kidding at that time, but we had a nice talk later. He is the second generation of Chinese in New York city. But unlike other ABCS, he talks with no any accent on his English, at least, I can not recognize if I only listen to his talking.
The point I want to make here is sometimes a stranger can change my attitude on life.
We talked leisurelly here and there, about the personal life of each other. when I told him I was ever depressed for a while, then he told me something I should never forget and thank him from my heart. He told me, "you should never be depressed, believe me, there are thousands of women in America who want to be in your position, no matter they are Chinese, Amrican, Indian or Africa American, no matter they are younger or older than you. believe me, so don't be depressed".
He might be just saying something that makes me feel happy. But I suddenly realize he is SO RIGHT. I am not rich, and at my 30s with two kids. But I have no reason to feel depressed. I feel so lucky that I was married to a good man, even now we are not couple anylonger, I still think he is good man. I feel so lucky that my parents brought me good looking which simply provide me confidence, well, a lot of people told me I am good looking, then I agree with that. I feel so lucky that I don't need to worry about living. I feel so lucky that I have two lovely kids.
I should never complain anything about life, that is not the way of good attitude.
From tomorrow, I will try my best to live happily. Be more patient to my kids, be 100% with kids when I stay with them. Be nicer to their father when he comes over to see kids. Be nicer to all people I meet in public. Be understanding to what happened unhappily......
For the sake of being myself.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
俺只知道感觉沮丧的时候去bar，这不刚刚喝得晕晕乎乎的。总有什么事情能让你客服忧郁的心情。-trus
At least, you have two adorable kids, which means you have future...I think for most common people, nothing is better than kids to prove you've lived this life...
And if you like, you can also have a cat.
P.S. I also noticed most ABCs/CBCs have their peculiar accents (most BBCs talk as British though), and I am not so sure where this came from.
我是个很容易沮丧的那类,比如劳累过后,就不再想说话,可早晨带着他们去博物馆,下午带着他们去水族馆,中午因为BEBE不午睡我也需要陪着,所以到下午疲惫不堪到极点,那个时候心里就极其灰暗了,根本想不起自己不应该depressed这类想法,只想拥有一下自己的空间.
刚才本来要给儿子讲故事的,可我让他看一会书我就睡着了.等我醒来发觉他睡着了.
每次这种极其疲惫睡着然后醒来,我就有一种厌世的感觉,没有什么对我来讲是美好有意义的.即便有孩子在我仍然觉得我的生活并不完美.
你看昨天我刚刚发了誓,今天又来了.
我没有别的奢望,就是想要一个伴侣,能让我觉得有了他生活就完美了的伴侣.
If your depressed feeling is physically induced, I think you can improve via exercise and take a lighter schedule...don't jam the museum and aqua together in one day. You have lots of time to bring your kids there in the future--and I think they just want the pleasant time together, not visiting a particular place.
I think we need to abandoned the perfectionism because we have to face the imperfect life. Focused on the dark side, we will just miss too many little good things in life.
In particular, even when we are sad, we need to be good to the people around us, kids particularly. They grow up too fast. You won't have enough nice moments together...
Post a Comment