半夜醒来，怎么也睡不着，只好打开灯，看看到底几点钟，有没有可能在天亮之前睡回去。
四点一刻。
我知道有些自杀的人选择在这个时刻，他们的思想陷入一种常人不能走入的歧角。难怪在这个时刻醒来，我总是觉得消极。
我要去见一个人，之前充满了憧憬，每天晚上在衣间里试穿衣服，将那些平日不穿的高跟鞋摆出来，一双一双的踩上去，站在镜子前面。
只是现在这一刻忽然犹豫起来了。
晚上走出门去拿信件，看到满天的繁星，风是清爽的。就要降温了，这可能是今年最后一个可以穿着单衣出来散步的夜晚。满地黄的红的树叶，如果不是孩子们在家里面，我很想踏着树叶走到外面去，走远一些。
秋景让人伤感。事实上所有良辰美景都让我伤感。只有恶劣的天气躲在屋内，我才觉得那个时刻是温馨的，因为这个时间你不得不躲在屋子里，不用为那些美景没有人和自己分享而遗憾。
Friday, October 29, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Nothing gold can stay Robert Frost
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
以此诗感怀秋天。
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
以此诗感怀秋天。
25件奢侈品
1、能背着包包走天下的健康
My health, so far so good.:) I always have a dream to walk aound all over the world some day. And next summer when my kids are not with me, I will go all over the old towns in China. That is a rough plan by now.
2、舒心的工作
No, unfornately, I am not a career woman, taking care of my kids are my job, a paid but tough job. My boss sometimes pays me with a little gift. :)
According to NYT, an over-time childcare provider will financially get paid around $110000 each year before tax. You can see how they evaluate that kind of job. I appreciate it.
I am not a good worker for my job. Because sometimes I am rude and impatient to my kids, I am also selfish. :(
3、起风的天总有人提醒你加衣
No, too bad:(. sometimes when I talked to my father by phone, he will remind me. But I don't count on nobody will take care of me.
My kids have me to remind them to wear warm. I got good stuff for them and make them look cute and decent.:)
4、睡着的时候总有妈妈或老公为你盖被
That is too luxury for me.
But my kids are lucky have a mom check them at night. Good for them!
5、穿上便宜T恤也很PP的健康身材
Can not agree more. Good body shape will make those cheap clothes valuable. Vise versa. Exercise,excercise!
But as aging, I don't buy cheap clothes as much as before. Too space wasteful. I don't purchase a lot for myself, but if I want to buy one, that must be right for me, and not cheap.:)
宁为玉碎不为瓦全。 I prefer to wear an only super-good clothes for a long time, compare to those disposable low-end brand which I can afford to buy a lot.
6、写得一手好字
My parents have good handwriting. Mine is a little worse than them, but I still think that is good enough.
I like hand-writing postcard to friends. that is so different from those e-card. By those paper cards, you can transfer not only your good will and greeting but also the signal of love, even the smell of paper and pen oil.
7、想旅行时,总有谈得来的朋友愿意请假陪伴
Not really, I have a best friend in Beijing who alaway want to to travel with me, but she always has excuse. That is understandable, she has a busy job and her son is quite demanding on her. Nobody else.
8、每天都能踏实地睡个好觉
Not always. Try to make peace with my surrounding, but unforunately, not always.
9、会欣赏美丽的心和能欣赏美丽的心情
Not always, a falling leaf will remind me this is another fall and I am another year older. Too sentimental, for weather, for kids, for all kinds of things that easily touch my soul.
10、每时每刻都过得有意义和幸福
Well, If I think it is meaningful, IT IS, even when I am sitting on the toliet. All depends on your attitude.
11、一个教会你爱和被爱的男人
I wish I am lucky enough to get one at this life. Otherwise, pass to next life.
12、你为之甘心付出的宝宝
Of course, not really willingly, but have to. That is my real feeling, honestly. Try to be a good parent as I could.
13、心中永远的自由
Always. That costs though.
14、带给他人向上的精神特质
I am a good priest, as I know it, but too bad not for myself. Actually all pisces women are very ambiguous (模棱两可的) to make their desicision. too weak at this point.
15、学会放弃
Trying and learning....
16、学会承受
Learning and trying.....
17、接受并珍惜生活赐予你的一切
Yes, that is good. I love my life. If there is a lover
18、亲自播种，收获
19、珍藏一件凝聚情感的物品
20、寻找失落的童心
21、心境开阔
22、信守一个诺言
23、尝尽美食
24、偶尔使个小小坏
25、把你所能想到的一件浪漫的事变为现实
My health, so far so good.:) I always have a dream to walk aound all over the world some day. And next summer when my kids are not with me, I will go all over the old towns in China. That is a rough plan by now.
2、舒心的工作
No, unfornately, I am not a career woman, taking care of my kids are my job, a paid but tough job. My boss sometimes pays me with a little gift. :)
According to NYT, an over-time childcare provider will financially get paid around $110000 each year before tax. You can see how they evaluate that kind of job. I appreciate it.
I am not a good worker for my job. Because sometimes I am rude and impatient to my kids, I am also selfish. :(
3、起风的天总有人提醒你加衣
No, too bad:(. sometimes when I talked to my father by phone, he will remind me. But I don't count on nobody will take care of me.
My kids have me to remind them to wear warm. I got good stuff for them and make them look cute and decent.:)
4、睡着的时候总有妈妈或老公为你盖被
That is too luxury for me.
But my kids are lucky have a mom check them at night. Good for them!
5、穿上便宜T恤也很PP的健康身材
Can not agree more. Good body shape will make those cheap clothes valuable. Vise versa. Exercise,excercise!
But as aging, I don't buy cheap clothes as much as before. Too space wasteful. I don't purchase a lot for myself, but if I want to buy one, that must be right for me, and not cheap.:)
宁为玉碎不为瓦全。 I prefer to wear an only super-good clothes for a long time, compare to those disposable low-end brand which I can afford to buy a lot.
6、写得一手好字
My parents have good handwriting. Mine is a little worse than them, but I still think that is good enough.
I like hand-writing postcard to friends. that is so different from those e-card. By those paper cards, you can transfer not only your good will and greeting but also the signal of love, even the smell of paper and pen oil.
7、想旅行时,总有谈得来的朋友愿意请假陪伴
Not really, I have a best friend in Beijing who alaway want to to travel with me, but she always has excuse. That is understandable, she has a busy job and her son is quite demanding on her. Nobody else.
8、每天都能踏实地睡个好觉
Not always. Try to make peace with my surrounding, but unforunately, not always.
9、会欣赏美丽的心和能欣赏美丽的心情
Not always, a falling leaf will remind me this is another fall and I am another year older. Too sentimental, for weather, for kids, for all kinds of things that easily touch my soul.
10、每时每刻都过得有意义和幸福
Well, If I think it is meaningful, IT IS, even when I am sitting on the toliet. All depends on your attitude.
11、一个教会你爱和被爱的男人
I wish I am lucky enough to get one at this life. Otherwise, pass to next life.
12、你为之甘心付出的宝宝
Of course, not really willingly, but have to. That is my real feeling, honestly. Try to be a good parent as I could.
13、心中永远的自由
Always. That costs though.
14、带给他人向上的精神特质
I am a good priest, as I know it, but too bad not for myself. Actually all pisces women are very ambiguous (模棱两可的) to make their desicision. too weak at this point.
15、学会放弃
Trying and learning....
16、学会承受
Learning and trying.....
17、接受并珍惜生活赐予你的一切
Yes, that is good. I love my life. If there is a lover
18、亲自播种，收获
19、珍藏一件凝聚情感的物品
20、寻找失落的童心
21、心境开阔
22、信守一个诺言
23、尝尽美食
24、偶尔使个小小坏
25、把你所能想到的一件浪漫的事变为现实
秋天
风大，这天比实际气温冷，bebe为我们用手机拍了几张，只有这张是清楚的。我们在外面冻了一天，我来了例假，气色很不好，什么都不想做，可也只好陪他们出来。下午回家已经很累了，为他俩煮了一锅白米粥，烤了几块popcorn chicken,热了一些前日剩下的macronni Cheese,他们吃的很干净。bebe的饭量开始大起来了，他吃的越来越多，鼓励我做好吃的给他。昨天我买了kitchen Aids mixer，只为将饺子馅弄得更好吃。Food well done is love。我不晓得自己在别处能否做到尽职的爱他们，至少在吃穿上，我会全心全意。
Thursday, October 14, 2010
one rainny night, a little sad
It's night and rainning outside,
Listening to the raindrop landing
To the ground,to wherever it could land.
A little sad about being human being,
Being woman, all on her imagination
she is living.
Listening to the raindrop landing
To the ground,to wherever it could land.
A little sad about being human being,
Being woman, all on her imagination
she is living.
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